St. James the Hoosier (Pr. Jim Roemke) writes: Confessional pastors need to unite in hospitality and brotherly love toward new pastors. With one of the biggest classes between the seminaries in years, this is a perfect opportunity to reach out to an impressionable and scarred group of tomorrow's pastors.Here's a post on this from his blog:
Check out the comments as well.That ol' sinful nature
As a new and young pastor I often do not "feel" like I'm really a pastor. I worried about this a lot before ordination. How could I possibly minister to my "elders" with God's Law and His Gospel? Would my congregation take me seriously?
Now that I am out here, I have found the most amazing reversal of my expectations. My beloved parish has no problem accepting me and has always shown the utmost respect for the Office and for me. What is really surprising is other pastors. I feel so out of place whenever there is a gathering of pastors. Some don't speak to me at all (a few have actually ignored me when I spoke to them!) Some are a bit condescending. Some act suspicious of the "new guy." But, overall, most don't seem to want to take any time at all to even acknowledge me.
I have to say, that ol' sinful nature really gets hurt by this. I want to be accepted by my older brothers. I really want to just sit down and talk with them openly and honestly. Don't get me wrong, there are a couple around me who have been just great.
To other newbies, has this been your experience? Am I overreacting? Is this unusual? Is there something wrong with me?
The below two YouTube videos are from the Academy Award winner for best film of 1982, Chariots of Fire, and if you haven't seen it yet, you ought to. Based upon a true story, the film has a scene (included in the first video below) in which the Prince of Wales is trying to pressure Eric Liddell (pictured right), a strict Scottish Presbyterian, to run in the Olympic Games on a Sunday, which was against his convictions.He did have us beaten, and thank God he did! The lad, as you call him, is a true man of principle and a true athlete. His speed is only an extension of his life, his force. We sought to sever his running from himself.The United Kingdom could not have the runner without the Christian, as Liddell's running was a mere extension of his Christian faith.
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men!"If possible are the two key words here. There will be times when pastors will find themselves up against the wall and must, by God's grace, stand fast to their Confession. Do not compromise! Most good pastors are certainly willing to compromise in adiaphora, but any attempts by groups or individuals to manipulate or pressure God's ministers into compromising their biblical convictions regarding the ministry of Word and Sacrament ought to be publicly exposed as evil and opposed by all of God's people.
"I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
-2 Timothy 4:1-7
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or at least Weird Al Yankovic seems to thinks so.
The primary purpose of this organization shall be to provide ongoing spiritual care opportunities for Lutheran pastors. Participants will be refreshed and equipped as a result of their participation in a program of soul care grounded in Holy Scripture and the Lutheran Confessions. The Center provides a safe environment for clergy to reflect on their own spiritual health and offers a program carefully crafted to help them review and enhance their professional competencies and skills. Doxology strengthens pastors so they can more faithfully pastor others.Program Objectives:
The program curriculum:
- Provides resources, insights, teaching, admonition, encouragement, new tools and strategies needed to move beyond “survival functioning in pastoral ministry” to joyful service in the pastoral life and calling.
- Provides opportunities for immediate and ongoing care to nurture and encourage pastors whose personal lives may have been burdened by stress and isolation or wounded by sin, depression, conflict, fear, or hopelessness.
- Yields critical insights to enhance the pedagogy of spiritual care and counsel.
- Benefits from team casuistry and the experience of fellow pastors enrolled in this renewal experience.
Pastors participating in DOXOLOGY will:
- Prize and embrace their identity as called and ordained servants of God.
- Explore the art of spiritual care and enhance their skills as physicians of the soul so as to help those entrusted to their care to find health and healing in God through His gracious Word and Sacraments.
- Choose to benefit from individual spiritual care and personal counsel for restoration by Christ’s healing and peace.
- Establish and maintain meaningful professional relationships with peers through personal interaction.
- Return to their parish renewed, strengthened, and equipped in their vocation to preach, teach, and administer God’s Holy sacraments faithfully.
Pastor Weedon writes:For years now, with great distress, I have seen in many parts of Germany how often laity have been seriously offended by that confused, inept, and imprudent way of speaking when certain thoughtless know-it-alls, with an inflated estimation of their own knowledge, take no notice of what they say, how they say it, or to whom they are speaking. I will give a few examples of these offensive formulations that corrupt the minds of the laity and drive many away from the Gospel...
I am currently reading the Old Testament from beginning to end, and I have run into a curious ceremony that I did some research on in order to try to make sense of it. It is first mentioned in Exodus in the ordination of Aaron and then repeated in Leviticus, which is where I am now.Exodus 29:20: Then shalt thou kill the ram, and take of his blood, and put it upon the tip of the right ear of Aaron, and upon the tip of the right ear of his sons, and upon the thumb of their right hand, and upon the great toe of their right foot, and sprinkle the blood upon the altar round about.
Leviticus 8:23: And he slew it; and Moses took of the blood of it, and put it upon the tip of Aaron's right ear, and upon the thumb of his right hand, and upon the great toe of his right foot.
From a Jewish website I obtained this interesting historical reference in which Philo comments on the significance of this ordination ceremony for the priests:“The fully consecrated [for the priesthood] must be pure in words and actions and in his whole life; for words are judged by hearing, the hand is the symbol of action, and the foot of the pilgrimage of life” (Philo, On the Life of Moses, 2:150, as quoted in The Torah: A Modern Commentary, ed. W. Gunther Plaut, p. 804).This reminds me of the qualifications for the office of holy ministry, especially those given in 1 Timothy 3. But there is a further reference to this strange ceremony later in Leviticus which has nothing to do with ordination. This third reference is what sent me to studying. It is part of the cleansing of Lepers:
Leviticus 14:14: And the priest shall take some of the blood of the trespass offering, and the priest shall put it upon the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and upon the thumb of his right hand, and upon the great toe of his right foot.Of course, the question that hit me when I got to this verse is, why is this strange "ordination ceremony" applied
to lepers? Here I believe we are drawn to the fuller meaning of this strange ceremony as it applies to Christ. The leper signifies the sinner. Here we are looking simply at the action of the blood of atonement as an Old Testament means of grace. I believe the blood is applied to the very tips of these extremities (both to lepers and to Aaron) showing that the cleansing brought by the blood of Christ extends over the entire Christian - that it is all inclusive and sufficient.
Applying this back to the consecration for the OHM, we see that it is Christ's all-inclusive atoning sacrifice that sanctifies the pastor in the same way in which he then serves in his calling to apply the all-inclusive/sufficient means of grace to us lepers (sinners) as well - passing on what he has received, just as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:3-4:For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures...And here we see true apostolic succession - the passing on of the pure doctrine of grace from man to man.
I just left some long-winded comments at my 'Secret Ballots' post. Rather than afflict our main page, I just provide you with its introduction:My questioning the practice of secret ballots has had me thinking about how Christians interact with each other or fail to interact with each other due to our frailty and sin. Secret ballots seem like a small, petty issue, but I am really considering what it means for a congregation to walk in the Light together. I am now even noticing what I am calling 'biblical openness' in Martin Chemnitz!Read the rest here.
I am very glad that the comments to this post have clarified things, not only to this blog's readers but also in my own mind. Yes, I can now see the need for exceptions: Because of the hardness of the hearts of those whom Solar calls 'political' and also for the sake of the innocent who might suffer at their hands, we should sometimes permit secret ballots on a conditional basis; but from the beginning it has not been this way, to paraphrase Matthew 19:8.
I continue to think that in so many of our relations with one another, we are hiding behind unbiblical fig leaves, and though due to our frailty they are sometimes necessary, we need to acknowledge that from the beginning it has not been this way...
Here is something that I read today that, I think, applies to what Erich wrote about hearing the Voice of the Shepherd and also a post over at Cyberstones.And since God instituted the ministry for this reason and used it to this end, that the Body of Christ, that is, His church might be built, and ever grow, unto the identifying of itself, Eph 4:16, they that are in the ministry must, with all concern, diligence, and faithfulness, be God’s colaborers, plant, and water, 1 Co 3:6-9, that the Word of God might dwell among us richly in all wisdom, CL 3:16, and all manner or tares of false, erroneous doctrine be rooted up and kept away from these churches by the grace of God, Mt 15:1-13; Acts 20:28-31.How this sounds long ago in a galaxy far, far away! How truly blessed are those Christians who have pastors that would heartily welcome such examinations!
For that reason and in view of this it is decreed in the Christian church order of our illustrious prince and ruler, Lord Julius, duke of Brunswick and Lรผneburg, that the examinations be held not only when someone is to be accepted and received into the church ministry, but that the superintendents twice a year examine the pastors assigned to their supervision, so that it might at one and the same time be an indoctrination and instruction regarding the basis and true meaning of the pure doctrine, and how less-learned pastors might arrange their studies, guard against false doctrine, and set the doctrine before their hearer in plain and simple terms, so that through such examinations the whole church, both preachers and hearers, might be edified under divine blessing with great profit and benefit.
But in order that equality might be preserved in the examinations and the less-learned be able the better to prepare themselves for them, it was resolved in the church consistory, with the gracious previous form of examination --- like that in the consistory --- used with those who are to be ordained and received into the church ministry be published in written for, so that the superintendents might be able to follow it in the annual visitations.
...also it [this little book] is written in German so that the laity might read and know what is discussed in examinations and what is the model in the chief heads of salutary doctrine, according to which also the hearers might judge whether their pastors follow the true voice of Christ, the only Chief Shepherd, or if they speak with the voice of a stranger, Jn. 10:3-5.
-Martin Chemnitz in Ministry, Word, and Sacramanets: An Enchiridian. Trans. Luther Poellot. St. Louis: CPH, 1981. Pages 16-17.
And again, listen to this:The Tenth Chapter
Avoiding Idle Talk
SHUN the gossip of men as much as possible, for discussion of worldly affairs, even though sincere, is a great distraction inasmuch as we are quickly ensnared and captivated by vanity.
Many a time I wish that I had held my peace and had not associated with men. Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience? We do so because we seek comfort from one another's conversation and wish to ease the mind wearied by diverse thoughts. Hence, we talk and think quite fondly of things we like very much or of things we dislike intensely. But, sad to say, we often talk vainly and to no purpose; for this external pleasure effectively bars inward and divine consolation.
Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.
When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.
Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue. Devout conversation on spiritual matters, on the contrary, is a great aid to spiritual progress, especially when persons of the same mind and spirit associate together in God.
Thomas รก Kempis' last name was Hรคmerken, "Little Hammer." I consider him a big hammer, because his writings convict me of so much that is sinful within me. For that reason I find it beneficial to read him.Chapter 9
On Obedience and Discipline
It is an excellent thing to live under obedience to a superior, and not to be one's own master. It is much safer to obey than to rule. Many live under obedience more of necessity than of love and such people are often discontented and complaining. They will never attain freedom of mind unless they submit with their whole heart for the love of God. Go where you please, but nowhere will you find rest except in humble obedience under the rule of a superior. Preference for other places and desire for change have unsettled many.
Everyone gladly does whatever he most likes, and likes best those who think as he does; but if God is to dwell among us we must sometimes yield our own opinion for the sake of peace. Who is so wise that he knows all things? So do not place too much reliance on the rightness of your own view but be ready to consider the views of others. If your opinion is sound, and you forego it for the love of God and follow that of another, you will win great merit. I have often heard that is safer to accept advice than to give it. It may even come about that each of two opinions is good; but to refuse to come to an agreement with others when reason or occasion demand it is a sign of pride and obstinacy.
Our resident hot Lutheran posted some more good thoughts on children's sermons that might add some additional clarity to our discussion at Eric's post.As a related plug, I would strongly recommend Prophetic Untimeliness: A Challenge to the Idol of Relevance by Os Guinness. Sean's points on doing things special, in addition to making me think of the Dana Carvey's Church Lady, also made me think of what Os Guinness said in this fine little book: By attempting to be so very relevant, the church has become completely irrelevant. You can listen to his 2004 Issues, Etc. interview on this book HERE.Childrens' Sermons and Regular Sermons
The childrens' sermon comes from a philosophy that would say "we must target and minister to groups individually and specially if we are to be effective or if we are to do the will of God". The Church, rather, ministers as Christ instituted it: Word and Sacrament ministry, which is targeted at everyone and is effective on everyone. It is not subjective to various groups, but objective for all groups. We all have the same problem: we are sinners.
It's ironic, but in the attempt to make someone feel included, doing "special" things for "special" people actually makes them and everyone else excluded.
To tell someone "pay attention, this part of the service is especially for you" also inherently says "the rest of the service is not especially for you".
The liturgy IS for children. Hymns ARE for children. The lection IS for children. The sermon [proper] IS for children. The prayers ARE for children. The confession & absolution IS for children. Baptism IS for children. As is evident by numerous debates in Church history, the Supper IS also to be for children, even if the details of how we are to practice that belief are not agreed upon.
The point is that the WHOLE service is for the WHOLE congregation.
Let us not tell the children what they will not like, what they will not understand, what they will not appreciate, or what they will not benefit from. I have little doubt that children frequently learn more, understand more, appreciate more, and practice more than their elder brothers and sisters in Christ, who lack an excuse for their inability to pay attention. *cue Luther rant about dogs and the insolent German people*
One pastor was thinking out loud one day to me about struggling with a coming service. It was pentecost (therefore a longer service), confirmation, a Divine Service, and there were many announcements to make also. In order to keep the service under an hour [sic], "cuts" needed to be made. This pastor considered out loud how "Well, I certainly can't cut communion, and I don't want to skip these special liturgical elements that I have decided to use... and I won't cut the children's sermon." In the end, the ingredients [double sic] he chose to cut were parts of the ordinary, propers, hymn stanzas, and prayers.
Instead of cutting "special" things meant to target specific people, perhaps it would be better to keep more of the objective and primary parts of the service. PERHAPS, if anything is to be cut down, it should be the sermon. Many pastors seem to think (and indeed say) that the reason people come or don't come to Church is the sermon. I am not so sure that the sermon is the most important part of the service. Certainly, as they say, no one goes to the parking lot singing the pastor's sermon.... Even if you have heard a dissapointing, long and boring, or confusing sermon, you still have everything else: God's Word in the lectionary, liturgy, and hymnody. His Word of forgiveness pronounced by the pastor. His precious life-giving Body and Blood put in your very mouth.
Liturgy and hymns are concise. Nothing is more concise than the sacraments (all three, if you will). Peter's sermon on Pentecost was certainly concise, and definetely effective.
It appears that LCMS Synodical President Kieschnick was re-elected.
Pr. Weedon suggested Sasse's very fine essay on the whole notion of apostolic succession in the We Confess series published by CPH. I've finished reading it again, and will here give my own brief summary of his arguments."Whether any church has its origin in the church of the New Testament or not is simply a matter of faith."Ultimately this is a question of apostolicity of doctrine, because:
"The answer has to do with whether I consider the doctrine of my church to be apostolic."Next he destroys the idea that any particular apostolicity of succession can be demonstrated, giving a cursory history of the attempts to create lists and the different purposes those lists were created for. He also quotes the Didache (15:1) which gives advice to congregations in case there are no wandering apostles, prophets, or teachers among them: "Elect therefore for yourselves bishops and deacons worthy of the Lord..."
In the New Testament we do have tradition in the sense of the message of the Gospel, or some particular message, being faithfully kept and handed on (1 Tim. 6:29), without addition or subtraction (Rev. 22:18-19). This "tradition," however, whether it be the oral proclamation of the apostles or whether it was already written down, has nothing to do with a tradition which was later placed in opposition to Scripture. The apostolic witness cannot be divided into what was preached and what was written down. these are one and the same. The authentic doctrinal tradition of the church in the sense of the New Testament is never anything else that the living transmission of this witness in preaching and instruction. It can never be an independent source of revelation. Authentic apostolic succession, then, is always and only the succession of doctrine. It may be known by its identity with the witness of the apostles in the New Testament. In this way, the content of what is proclaimed by any and every church is to be weighed.And here is where what I wrote in the post below becomes the first principle from which I know that our pastor has apostolicity:
There is indeed also a succession of teachers who have faithfully proclaimed the apostolic message. But who these surely are only God knows, just as He alone "knows those who are His," who are truly His church [2 Tim 2:19].
The question of whether or not a pastor is a valid pastor is answered rightly only by whether or not he preaches the true Gospel. The Augsburg Confession states that the "Church" is found where the Word is preached in its purity and the Sacraments are rightly administered. How do we define pure Word and Sacrament? - that taught and practiced according to the one pure fount and source of God's revelation: SCRIPTURE, interpreted according to the central doctrine of Christianity that separates us from ALL other religions.
What is that central doctrine? That THE ONE TRUE GOD is the God who saved me ALL BY HIMSELF, with no help from me or anybody else. All my sins are imputed to Christ, and all His righteousness is imputed to me. That's the only God I can have faith in! The One with pure monergistic grace - something ALL the other "Christian" denominations deny.
Lutheranism alone teaches the pure monergistic grace of God in Christ Jesus. This is what sets us apart from all others. How do I know the voice of the Shepherd? When I hear Him tell me my sins are forgiven - unconditionally. Anyone who claims to speak the Word of the Shepherd yet preaches a synergistic salvation is a false shepherd. All Roman Catholic priests preach a synergistic salvation. Therefore they are false shepherds - not members of the apostolic succession. The Apostle Paul preached salvation by faith alone, "and this not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."
"The mask you wear before men will do you no good before Him. He wants to see you as you are, He wants to be gracious to you... He wants to love you."Does your congregation or church body allow secret ballots in its meetings, assemblies, or conventions?-Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together
The fact that Christians are sometimes unwilling to publicly say what they think and submit it to God's Word for brotherly discussion, evaluation, and if necessary, correction, -- this is counter to the Christian faith and fellowship and is a very dangerous practice in the life of a congregation.1. Perhaps those who want secret ballots are afraid of being mistreated or ridiculed for having certain opinions. In this case, those with differing views might need to change or even repent. Even if we are right, we are called to correct our brothers and sisters "in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1-5, NASB)
Secrecy can foster an 'Us vs. Them' mentality among brothers and sisters in Christ and allow both fear and suspicion to undermine genuine fellowship. Secret ballots allow Christians to continue in fear and suspicion of each other.2. Perhaps Christians want secret ballots because they cannot explain their opinions in the light of God's Word and are therefore, at best, basing their votes upon subjective feelings. Or graver still, maybe they know that what they are voting for is not in accord with God's Word. Such situations are, of course, not good for the congregation or the voters themselves, for such voters who wish to affect the life of a congregation behind the curtain of secrecy are merely being "tossed about by every wind of doctrine" and their unbiblical voices are affecting the life of the congregation without the possibility of correction that openness provides. This is very dangerous situation, for decisions about Christ's Church are made out of emotion or sin, rather than out faith in God and His Word. (Ephesians 4:14-16, NASB)
3. Perhaps those who want their votes to be secret just don't like the pastor because he faithfully preaches and teaches God's Word in undiluted Law and Gospel. If this is the case, then I would even say that such opposition to the Office of Holy Ministry is demonic in nature and needs to be brought to the Light and then seriously and tenaciously opposed by God's people. Such voters need to be brought to repentance, and the use of secret ballots in this case is endangering their souls.
4. Perhaps there is some hidden, unbiblical agenda, coordinated in political conventicles. It is no secret that people bring the political ways of this world into Christ's Church, and this is also a dangerous situation that must be rooted out by God's people, for Jesus said, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life!" (John 8:12, NASB)
Every public matter in the life of a church should be brought forth and dealt with openly under the Light of God's Word. Satan is, as Samwise Gamgee called Gollum in The Lord of the Rings, a slinker, and as we learned from Screwtape, the Father of Lies thrives upon secrecy. Therefore, it is of utmost importance that members of a congregation stand together under Holy Scripture and its faithful exposition in the Office of Holy Ministry. We must expose the slinker for what he is, even as he attempts to work his mischief through secrecy in the midst of a congregation.
In his Small Catechism, Martin Luther explains that in the sixth petition of the Lord's Prayer, we are instructed to pray "that God would guard and keep us, so that the devil, the world, and our flesh may not deceive us, nor seduce us into misbelief, despair, and other great shame and vice." Misbelief or false belief is, indeed, a grave sin to which we are constantly tempted; and it is a sin of which we must repent. Tragically, however, secret ballots help us keep this sin hidden, where correction cannot take place through biblical catehesis or where the healing power of Christ's blood cannot be applied through Holy Absolution. And as Dietrich Bonhoeffer so astutely observed in Life Together, "He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone." Therefore, Christian charity for our brothers and sisters demands that we reject the continued practice of secrecy. 
Indeed, secret ballots seem to fly in the face of both the nature of Christ (especially in the Gospel of John with its emphasis on light and darkness) and the biblical doctrine of Christian fellowship, through which we are called to 'walk in the Light'. Secret ballots can be used as masks that enable us to avoid the Light of our Lord, so that we do not have to explain our decisions, enter into fruitful dialogue with our brothers and sisters in Christ, or submit ourselves to the Light of God's Word and the Office of Holy Ministry. Secret ballots are one disturbing symptom of sickness in the life of a congregation, one tactic of the enemy's gorilla warfare of darkness against the Light of God's Word.Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3, NASB)How is Christian fellowship in the 'unity of the Spirit' under God's Word even possible when we have moved from an open, biblical "Here we stand" approach to witness and fellowship, to a political, individualist "Here I... it's none of your business!"
The Rev. William Weedon, pastor of St. Paul Lutheran Church in Hamel, Illinois, during an April 18, 2004 interview on KFUO's Issues, Etc., recalls one circuit counselor's very wise, pastoral response to a lady's impassioned complaint about the office of holy ministry in her church.
Here is a beichtspiegel (confessional mirror) written by Dr. Ken Korby [clicking on the link will download the pdf version]. For those who are not familiar with what a "beichtspiegel" is, it is used as an aid in preparing for confession and absolution. This brief one by Korby would be easy to print off for members of the congregation to use. It is formated as a single sheet to be folded in half. There is also an excellent beichtspiegel printed in the back of the Brotherhood Prayer Book [BPB]. It's too bad one was not included in the LSB. I mention the beichtspiegel here on this blog with special reference to the following questions.
Third Commandment: 
I saw this article earlier today. The Pope's Words are hogwash. Basically the Pope (the "Antichrist" according to our Lutheran Confessions) is saying that if your pastor didn't have hands laid upon him by someone in direct succession (all having hands laid upon them) from the apostles, your pastor is not valid and you do not have the means of grace. Of course this is nothing new to Roman Catholic dogma.
Almost immediately after Pastor Thomas Zimmerman of Concordia Theological Seminary preached at our church last week about a very discouraged Elijah, as described in 1 Kings 19, I came into possession of a very strange letter written by someone called Screwtape to a junior devil by the name of Wormwood. My dear Wormwood:
I am beginning to suspect that you do not realize the significance of your present assignment, for he has been set apart by the Enemy for a particularly dangerous purpose, and his case, therefore, demands our special attention.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of paying particular attention to those vermin, like your present patient, that the Enemy foolishly chooses as His miserable instruments, those called 'pastors' within His ranks, for they continue to do so much regretable damage to our glorious cause. It really is quite aggravating, for after all, it is only the Enemy's unfair advantage over us that makes these ridiculous specimens so dangerous in His hands.
And all the Enemy does is smile down at them, as they stumble through their ridiculous duties, parroting whatever He tells them. I will not even mention the absurd way that He carries on about those detestable multitudes that are lost to us through these loathsome servants of His. And then there are the ridiculous, repugnant ways that He uses these pastors, first that abhorrent Voice and then -- and this is almost too revolting to mention -- that water, bread, and wine, which are somehow joined with that, again, that infuriating Voice! Oh, Wormwood, to be undone by that which is so common, illogical, and unspiritual, all the while with that irritating smile beaming down upon them all. One would think that the Enemy actually likes the miserable creatures.
Do not suppose that the Enemy's very different smiles and infuriating laughter that He directs at us mean that this ridiculous magic show is merely a bad joke, for we must consider the grave results that it has rendered against us for nearly 2,000 years. We can be certain that Our Father Below, a true spirit of spirits, would never bear the indignity of working with either these ridiculous creatures who have, like dogs, collars around their necks, or the very vulgar matter that they distribute with their grubby little hands. Such matters can infuriate even the most experienced of tempters.
Such continued indignities certainly demand our redoubled efforts, Wormwood, so let me point out a few fundamental tactics that have proved useful with these vile creatures. These are tricks of our own that have worked particularly well for apprentice tempters like yourself, simple techniques that we initially tried with that crude showoff Elijah, who unfortunately eluded us after that regrettable setback at Mount Carmel. We have now employed these same tactics in other cases with great success for centuries, thus rendering many of these set-apart servants of the Enemy completely useless to Him, and consequently, delivering innumerably more of these two-footed beasts safely into the eager hands of Our Father Below:Now let me give you one final warning. As we saw after Mount Carmel, all of our best efforts can fail with one whisper of the Enemy. The show off! Therefore, we can never rest. Never assume that your patient is safely won, for even our best of servants, like that miserable traitor Saul, is evidence enough of the Enemy's unfair advantage over us. He is always so undignified, so unethical, and so scandalously unspiritual! Remember: secrecy, isolation, fatigue, and false belief!*“Now Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, ‘So may the gods do to me and even more, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.’" (1 Kings 19:1-2)First and foremost, Wormwood, you must avoid frontal assaults. You must work in secret, preferably behind the facade of the thoroughly amusing piousness that so many of our people in the Enemy's camp wear with pride. Try to find some domineering wives and hen-pecked husbands, like the Ahab and Jezebel that even now, our master continues to relish below. There are thousands of these useful specimens within the Enemy's camp, and if you really wish to truly enjoy your patient, then by all means find yourself such a couple with an abundance of that most helpful and amusing of our virtues: niceness. Even I smile to think of the deeds done for Our Father Below in the name of the Enemy.
*“And he was afraid and arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree...” (1 Kings 19:3-4a)Secondly, isolate the scoundrels. By all means, keep your patient away from other Christians, especially those who are also set apart by the Enemy as stewards of his box of tricks. Keep him far from all those in the Enemy's camp who might ask him questions that would make your patient begin to think about what they call 'truth'. Remember how the Enemy asked that showoff at Carmel such unfortunate questions: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
You must also remember that Light and the lucidity that the Enemy's mere whispers can bring to your patient must be continually guarded against. Keep your patient alone and focused on the difficulties that surround him, and by all means, get him to believe that such debilitating solitude is a part of his calling.
Keep those who would hinder or even undo our work by, as the Enemy puts it, 'loving' your patient, far, far from him. Secret ballots in voters' assemblies, backroom elder meetings, late-night phone calls 'out of concern', or nasty petitions drawn up in conventicles -- all of these things can and should be utilized, for they all help to isolate your patient 'for his own good' and for the supposed good of the Enemy's camp. In short, keep your patient and his charges in dark confusion or chaos. And Wormwood, it is so very delicious to get the little beasts to actually think that they are being 'bold' or 'compassionate' or 'prudent' in doing these things! Keeping everyone in the dark like this while feeding their little egos will further our cause in countless ways and increase your own amusement immeasurably!
But by all means, beware of the Light that comes whenever the Enemy gets his little beasts to think and discuss all matters openly and in submission to his infuriating Voice, for then, Wormwood, all is lost. This situation should be your greatest fear, for the Light that the Enemy then brings to bear upon our purposes can foil all of our best efforts! Therefore, isolate, isolate, isolate!*"He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, ‘Arise, eat.’ Then he looked and behold, there was at his head a bread cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again." (1 Kings 19:4)You must also learn to use your patient's fatigue. Be sure to work on him when he is most weary, perhaps on Mondays or after particularly nasty church council or congregational meetings. Our near success with that showoff at Mount Carmel illustrates how effectively fatigue can be used against the Enemy's servants; it is at these times that you will most often succeed in getting your patient to dwell upon himself and his present difficulties, rather than that Hedonist who called him, who is likely to simply offer the beast good food and sound sleep. Above all, Wormwood, use your patient's fatigue and troubles to keep his mind in turmoil and away from that other Mountain that we dare not even mention. Timing is everything, so be sure to move against your patient when he is most weak and tired.
*"And he requested for himself that he might die, and said, 'It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers!'" (1 Kings 19:4b)Finally, you must utilize this isolation and fatigue to accomplish that most important, and frankly, most deliciously satisfying accomplishment of all: False belief! You will find that in your patient's times of loneliness and weakness, that he will believe just about anything. Even I smile as I fondly recall how we got that showoff at Carmel to whine about not being better than his fathers. As long as you can point your patient to himself and his troubles, instead of that other Mount that we do not name, then you will most likely succeed with him.
I need not mention what penalties will undoubtedly await you, if any future incompetence allows your patient to once again escape into that disgusting Light, that which even Our Father Below dare not look upon.
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
